Praying for Health...

After about a week of feeling icky with a head cold, my poor hubby is starting to feel better (a little bit at least). I realized after posting my blog yesterday about the praying wife book that there’s a prayer you can pray for your hubby’s health! Why hadn’t I thought of that when he was FIRST feeling sick? (See, I’m not perfect :oP ) Sorry my love. So I’m posting the prayer here (and praying it of course!) because it doesn’t just have to be for husbands, you can pray for anybody that is sick. I know sometimes when we’re praying for something we may not know where to start with our prayer or what to say when praying, so I love these ‘templates’. We can critique them any way we see fit!

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Praying for Health:

Lord, I pray for Your healing touch on (insert name here). Make every part of his body function the way You designed it to. Wherever there is anything out of balance, set it in perfect working order. Heal him of any disease, illness, injury, infirmity, or weakness. Strengthen his body to successfully endure his workload, and when he sleeps may he wake up completely rested, rejuvenated and refreshed. Give him a stronger heart that doesn’t fail. I don’t want him to have heart failure at any time.

I pray that he will have the desire to take care of his body, to eat the kind of food that brings health, to get regular exercise, and avoid anything that would be harmful to him. Help him to understand that his body is Your temple and he should care for it as such (1Corinthians 3:16). I pray that he will present it as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to You (Romans 12:1).

When he is ill, I pray You will sustain him and heal him. Fill him with your joy to give him strength. Specifically, I pray for (mention any area of concern). Give him faith to say, “O Lord my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me. Thank You, Lord, that You are my Healer.”

I pray that my husband will live a long and healthy life and when death does come, may it be accompanied by peace and not unbearable suffering and agony. Thank You, Lord, that You will be there to welcome him into Your presence, and not a moment before Your appointed hour.
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(Prayer from The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian)

Creating a Home...

I picked up this book a few months back called "The Power of a Praying Wife". The book is compiled of different prayers to pray for your husband about different subjects (his work, his health, his priorities, his fatherhood, anything!) But as I started to read it I couldn't get past the first chapter.

The first chapter was about praying for his wife (you!). I got to the paragraph about creating a home and it just struck a cord deep in heart. I loved how it laid it out for you what your responsibilities are as a wife. I didn't have to wonder what more or less I could be or should be doing. It's like "wife for dummies"! :oP It's the type of home I want to provide for my boys. I can read down the list and see if I'm lacking in any area. I was trying to pray for him and ended up finding inpiration for myself! I've posted the paragraph below...hopefully it inspires you like it does me!

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Creating a Home
"I don't care how liberated you are, when you are married there will always be two areas that will ultimately be your responsibility: home and children. Even if you are the only one working and your husband stays home to keep the house and tend the kids, you will still be expected to see that the heart of your home is a peaceful sanctuary - a source of contentment, acceptance, rejuvenation, nurturing, rest, and love for family. On top of this, you will also be expected to be sexually appealing, a good cook, a great mother, and physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit. It's overwhelming to most women, but the good news is that you don't have to do it all on your own. You can seek God's help.

Ask the Lord to show you how to make your home a safe haven that builds up your family - a place where creativity flows and communication is ongoing. Ask God to help you keep the house clean, the laundry done, the kitchen in order, the pantry and the refrigerator full, and the beds made. These are basic things a man may not compliment his wife on every day (or ever!), but he will notice if they are not done. My husband may not look in the cupboard for a light bulb or a battery for months. But when he does, he wants it to be there. Nor does he want to come home late from work one night find that there is no bread for a sandwich. I do my best to make sure it is there. I ask God to help me maintain a house that my husband is pleased to come home to and bring his friends."
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Ok, so the first paragraph was a bit depressing, but that second one I love! THAT is the type of home that I strive to have!

The Virtuous Woman

I LOVE being a mommy and a wife, but if I were to be completely honest I would have to admit that while it's the most AMAZING and REWARDING thing you'll EVER do in life, it's also the HARDEST! It's mentally and emotionally and physically draining at times. So, when I start to feel a little lazy or a little selfish I remember Proverbs 31:10-31 where it describes the Virtuous Woman. I read this every day to inspire myself and boost my energy to keep going when I'm exhausted.

[I have found a more modern translation of what Proverbs says so I don't fall asleep trying to figure out what it's saying]

Proverbs 31:10-31
It is very hard to find "the perfect woman." But she is worth much more than jewels.
Her husband depends on her. He will never be poor.
She does good for her husband all her life. She never causes him trouble.
She is always gathering wool and flax and gladly making things with her hands.
She is like a ship from a faraway place. She brings food home from everywhere.
She wakes very early in the morning. She cooks food for her family and gives the servants their share. She looks at land and buys it. She uses money she has earned and plants a vineyard.
She works very hard. She is strong and able to do all her work.
When she trades the things she has made, she always earns a profit.
And she works until late at night. She makes her own thread and weaves her own cloth.
She always gives to poor people and helps people that need it.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows. She has given them all good, warm clothes.
She makes sheets and spreads for the beds. And she wears clothes of fine linen.
People respect her husband. He is one of the leaders of the land.
She is a very good businesswoman. She makes clothes and belts, and sells them to businessmen.
She is praised and people respect her. She looks to the future with confidence.
She speaks with wisdom. She teaches people to be loving and kind.
She is never lazy. She takes care of the things in her house.
Her children say good things about her.
Her husband brags about her and says, "There are many good women. But you are the best."
Grace and beauty can fool you. But a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.
Give her the reward she deserves. Praise her in public for the things she has done.

Why I LOVE Being a Mommy...

I'm sitting here on the couch. It's 1:10a.m. and I've just finished pouring my heart out and posting my very serious, very heartfelt post about my two week fast. When what do I hear through the baby monitor? My two year old son FART (very loudly) and then go "HA-HA"...LOL!!!...This kid is HILARIOUS!!! Only a man would fart and then (in his sleep) say "HA-HA"! You gotta love it! Looks like I have my work cut out for me when it comes to domesticating him :oP

My Two Week Fasting...

I just finished a two week fast and I feel AMAZING! I decided that because fasting is simply taking your focus off something worldly and focusing that time on the Lord, I would fast from Facebook. Which was not very easy because it's how I keep in touch with all my loved ones, but it was well worth it. I began fasting because I had been praying for a breakthrough on something I had been praying for for some time now, but instead, it ended up being so much more.

I realized how 'loud' my life was. I was constantly moving and running and cleaning and cooking and working and mommy-ing and wife-ing and daughter-ing and sister-ing that I couldn't even hear myself think. And while I thought about God all day long and had miniature conversations with Him, I never had a chunk of time set aside from my day for Him. And I was suffering from that, but didn't realize it. I guess you don't know what you're missing until you get it. Instead of God giving me what I was praying for, He gave me something better. He gave me a moment of silence. He gave me a glimpse into my own heart. He gave me a CLEAR mind. I know it sounds crazy. How could I not know my own heart, my own mind? I thought I did. I THOUGHT I knew what I wanted. I spent so much time thinking of what I didn't have and paid no mind to what I did have. Why should I, I already have that, I already accomplished that...now on to get and accomplish more.

But during my fasting, during my more simplified, non-technological life, I began to do things I never had time to do before. Besides finally dedicating the very FIRST moments of my day with my Lord. I, after TWO years of saying I should, took Carlito on his first playdate and his first trip to the park for no reason. I organized all the things in the house I never had time for before. (Which in turn helped my relationship because Ricky sees I love him and provide him with a good home) I even made a homemade birthday cake for my niece's birthday. I never had time to make my own son a cake, let alone someone else's kid. And I gotta tell ya, it felt AMAZING. To see her face when she saw her cake that her Titi made her. Not just some cake I bought at the store. It's hard to describe, but it gives you a warm feeling. It takes you back down memory lane when our parents raised us and everybody made their children's cakes. It took me back to a time of innocence; before big birthday parties with bouncehouses and fancy cakes at children's parties. A time when your friends and family gathered around a table and watched your child blow their candles out. A time when you could socialize and enjoy your guests at the party instead of running around to make sure the decorations look ok and the clown is on time and the bounce house is working. I've vowed to myself to keep my son's birthday parties intimate and personal; which most of you know is UNHEARD OF for me, Miss I-love-planning-parties.

Along with doing things I never had time for before. This fasting made me realize things I didn't have 'time' to see before. I realized how much I love Ricky and how blessed I am to have him. How I love not only his qualities, but I love his flaws. I love that he's an amazing daddy and I love that he doesn't care about anybody in this world more than he cares about us. I realized that love ISN'T gonna go back to the way it was in the beginning, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Love GROWS and I have to learn to GROW with it. I can't stay in the past because I'm missing out on the love he's giving NOW. I realized that I no longer care about a big wedding with perfectly coordinated decor, but that I'd rather be married on a Puerto Rican beach, or our backyard, or a grocery store, or a sidewalk. I don't care. I love him and I love Carlito and I only care about what makes US happy.

I also had 'time' to feel feelings that I was too busy to feel. Feelings I had tucked away. Feelings I had NO idea I had! The biggest of these was my feelings about being a working mother. I never realized how TRULY broken my heart is about being a working mother. I thought that the first day I went back to work and took him to the babysitter that I would cry ALL day and not be able to work, but in fact it was the opposite. I was excited to be at work (great paying job after being on unpaid maternity leave and bills piling up) and I was GRATEFUL for his amazing babysitter (she's my sis-in-law's mom). What could be better? I'm making money and my son is in good hands. So, when I finally 'felt' how heartbroken I was, I was surprised! I spent HOURS just crying. Ricky tried so hard, but I was inconsolable. I just had to 'feel' it and let it out. And boy was there ALOT to let out. The heartache and pain just kept flowing out through my tears. In fact, my eyes are watering now. Everytime I think of work and Carlito I cry. EVERY time. I don't know why. I know I'm blessed to be making enough money to support him, but my heart hurts. My soul aches so bad. I mean I always thought I'd be a stay-at-home mom for the same reasons other mothers do. You get to spend time with your child and not have to work, what a sweet life. But this feeling is more than that. This is more than wanting a convenient life and getting what I want. It's more than just a superficial dream. It's something (UGH, I can't type anymore cuz my tears are clouding my eyes and I can't see) It's something that I feel from deep inside me. My whole heart and soul aches because I can't be home with him. I can't teach him what he needs to know. I can't feed him what he should eat. I can't play his favorite games with him or kiss him when he goes down for a nap. I can't kiss his boo-boo's when he falls or smile and clap with him when he finally figures out how to do something new. I have to depend on someone else for that. And while I have the most AMAZING babysitter EVER...she's not me. She's not his mommy. I have to leave him at 8am and not see him again until 6pm and by then it's dinner time, cleaning up time, bath time and bed time. I say hi and bye to him. I feel like I'm losing bonding time with him and missing out on his discovery years. The years when he discovers the world and learns to become a little person with his own likes and dislikes and his own personality. It's just hard. I know it's not anything new. I know I'm not the first, but it's new to me, it's the first time for me. I've experienced pain and heartache. I've lost loved ones to death and gone through tough break-ups, but NOTHING competes with this. I could just cry and cry and cry. But the Lord is amazing. God not only forced me to feel these feelings, but He also gave me an answer to my pain. He never leaves us alone in our pain. Now it may not be an immediate, obvious answer like you're expecting. It's not some great work-at-home job. It's a comfort. It's a peace. It's knowing that this is something that my heart TRULY yearns for, not just something I superficially want so I can keep up with the Jones's. So I take my burden and my heart's deepest desire and give it to Him. It's ok to cry about it, but it's not ok to dwell and worry. I could spend my time stressing and trying to figure out how to be able to stay at home with him or worry what bad effects me not staying at home with him might have, but instead, I give it all to Him. He knows my heart and he knows what's good for me and what I need. And when the time is right, he will provide a way and I find great comfort in that. I find comfort in a God who loves me and who wants the best for me. I find comfort in Him.

Wow, this entry has lasted longer than I anticipated, but when you spend two weeks focusing on your God, you have alot to report about. I'm keeping some of it to myself. Keeping some of it sacred and between me and Him. But some of it is good to let go of and share. I'm glad to be back in the world of Facebook (I missed you guys), but I'm thankful for my refreshing new outlook on life. I'm thankful for my eyes being opened. I'm thankful that I have an amazing relationship with an amazing God.